On A Brighter Note..There's a Wedding in June..

We are having a slight warming trend , tho windy as heck, an overall beautiful day. The sun is shining bright and Spring is right around the corner.  I want to get better fast. My daughter is getting married in June and plans and details are still being worked out. I'd like to be a positive part of this very special happening.  My daughter Leah means so much to me. I love her dearly. She deserves the best wedding ever!

My Daughter-In-Law

I'm going to write a little on something that has been a life changing event for many of us in my family. My daughter in law was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer and a Partial Mastectomy followed right away. First, we heard the news, they rushed right into the surgery and she has been recovering from that for a couple of weeks. I don't see how she does it. A 36 yr old Mother of 4 and a good wife to my son, she is being strong and going with the flow better than I ever would have. It's Stage 2 with 1 Lymph node out of 10 involved. So, after some Chemotherapy, we are hoping this dreadful disease will be gone and stay gone! For her, it will be a lifetime of events surrounding this..After her diagnosis, her own Mother found the same problem. Praying for the best there as well.  I just wanted to say that I am so proud of she and my son both for the way they are handling this.
Their children have been so loving and helpful and other friends and family have been great.  Prayers, Food and other things have been contributed to try and lesson the pain of finding out about this disease and the discomfort of recovery. Thanks to all, tho I know no one will see this, I am still Thankful & Blessed. Thank you Dear Lord.

Dreary Day

Gonna write even though I don't feel like it. One day UP, the next day, Down. When will I ever level out?

Don't want a pity party, I know there are many women and men out there who are experiencing the same feelings.

I finally went to the Doctor the other day after avoiding the issues at hand for more than 10 yrs. I KNOW! Stupid! I am one of those types that tries single handedly to "fix" things in my life..Sometimes, it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Bouts of Depression are finally getting the best of me. I have now been prescribed meds for Depression and anxiety/panic attacks. Starting with a low dose and hoping for the best. Maybe in a few weeks, my serotonin will level out and I can leave all this behind.  I sure hope so, 30 yrs is quite enuff!

Meanwhile, I am getting those monkeys off my back, taxes that haven't been done, work that has piled up, bills that are left unopened and relationships that I need to improve on..


And so it goes...one day at a time sweet jesus..

Focus~ Back to the task at hand.

Seems I've been  :"away" again...but things are on the upswing!
Good things gonna happen this year!!
I've got some plans....now to just FOLLOW THRU!

Whirlwind Year!

Wow! Another Year has gone by since I've written! WTH? Geeze, just goes to show how time will slip by ya in a heartbeat! 
I feel like I am moving forward in my life for this past year. My mother had another fall with another injury, so, have been staying close, but, things are looking up. She's a bit stronger and I feel like I can relax a bit more for NOW. 
Looking back over the past year, there have been a few small bumps. It's been a SLOW GO for the most part. But, I do see and feel progress. Got a few monkeys off my back this year, things that were holding me back. I've been working towards  building a better Business and ridding myself of clutter (both headwise and housewise). Feels good..starting to breathe again. You just get so use to that "stuff" always being there, you don't even realize how it holds ya back in more ways than one. When ya begin to figure out what Really is important and what should take priority, it starts to come together, bit by bit. 
I'm just at a time in my life when I want to get it all straight, ya know..My relationships, my home and things that will be left behind when I pass on..All this matters more to me now than ever before. Each decade lived brings new chapters..The ending is still not clear, but, I'm getting prepared!  Get rid of the "junk" in your life and start anew! After all, tis a New Year AGAIN already!

NEW YEAR~ A NEW DECADE?

Normally, I wouldn't address the New Decade with a question mark. Approaching "SeniorLand", I do wonder. In the past few years, I've seen so many young people leave this life, much more than when I was growing up and the occasional accident happened and took a young life and mostly older folks got their age related or lifestyle diseases, and died in their 70's or 80's. But, NOW, you never know.  We recently had a younger member of the family to develop such problems, so quickly, that vital organs began to shut down, and infections set in, and wouldn't or couldn't respond to antibiotics, she died at the tender age of 34. She left behind a wonderful husband and two beautiful young boys, that, now must go on without their loving mother.  She wasn't "kind" to her body, but, it goes to show that we can certainly be here one day and taking life for granted, and the next day, be gone...forever. Life OVER. It seems like when I hit mid 40's, I started thinking about this, and now, that I am almost 52, I am really thinking about it..I'm definitely closer to my Life's end, rather than the beginning. Guess, it's time to THINK about it, huh?. My mother just had a 79th Birthday, other than a few minor things, she was very healthy until age 74, when it was discovered she had heart blockages, and Triple ByPass was performed. It changed her life..or she allowed it, not sure which. She became a totally diff. person after her surgery. Will talk more about it later. Point being, I really don't know WHO will survive this decade...So, will do some more thinking about THAT.
Happy New Year!!

Winters Coming! UGH!!

Last night, the frost of old man winter finally arrived..I hate it..Wish I loved all seasons, but, I do not..Not being able to afford gas for the heating system, the past few years, we have heated with our woodstove. Man, that's a job. We've done it off and on for 35 yrs tho, guess it helps to keep us healthy by cutting and hauling wood. Certainly helps to save a few bucks (alot, actually).
It's been a couple of weeks now since my Woman Within Training Weekend that supposedly changed my life. Most days have been good overall. Some haven't been so good. At Thanksgiving, I was nervous about company coming. There were a few "issues" surrounding the whole thing, but, will get into that later, when I feel it is appropiate.
I am more motivated than previous years and actually completed an art project. I took my old veneer top dining room table and completely revamped it, will post a pic. My focus on the business has improved. I am able to keep up now and get my orders out in a more timely matter. Business is slow, but I am thankful for what I have. The website is in need of some upgrading, hopefull soon, I will feel good enuff to work on that.
Til next time.....peace to all!

A New Beginning to The Rest of My Life..

I've taken a few days to absorb my "Woman Within" weekend.  The program was more than I ever expected.  I reclaimed my inner self~ bitch, witch, and crone energy abounds! I am so grateful that a friend recommended the self healing support that has turned my life from bleak at best, to bright shining sunshine. I had kinda dug a hole and practically jumped in and covered myself up. Due to reasons I will divuldge as I go along, my life thus far has been a whirlwind of emotion, never settling, and always regretful. Negativity and dread were the "normal" ways of starting my day.  I have always been seeking solutions, either thru traditional thearpy, talking with friends and family, self observation and analysis, and religious bouts, needless to say, to no avail, or either my relief was always short-lived. I, now, finally, TRULY have the tools within me to work towards being a better person. I took a deep look inside myself , realized the issues, dealt with them, and set them aside for good. This may not make much sense, but, I'll sort it out...Tis GOOD to be back....

Calm After The Storm

I am finally settling down , am not quite as nervous as I was earlier in the week. I think, with the death of a young friend and the anxiety and excitement of my upcoming journey just about got the best of me.  I just haven't felt well, mentally or physically. There has definitely been an unusal amount of dread in the air.  Maybe my "Woman Within Weekend" is just what the doctor ordered and right on time on all counts.
For the next 48-72 hrs., I will be focused on "Me" and that is something I have not been use to for quite a few years now. It's always the hub, the mom, the gkids, the kids, the business, the house, the yard, the garden, the cars, the groceries, the this, the that. And don't get me wrong, I love doing all of these things, but I must admit sometimes I get lost in what I am doing and why or who I am and the real reasons for WHY AM I HERE?..and what's truly important when it all boils down to it. Why I am so upset about this little thing and so nonchalant about something I should have given more thought. I'm at the point, that I do not feel quilty about doing something for me this time. I feel good about it and finally realize it is a necessity. I have decided to face my depressive tendencies head on thru Real help and Guidance rather than tackling it alone and never arriving anywhere. Stuck in the mud, TIME TO GET OUT!  See, there is that MicroscopicGleam again..Thank God...I'll know soon if I obtained the tools necessary to achieve my goal....Until next week..

Man What A Day~~

Sorry to Post the news today.. An exceptional woman and family member has passed on at the tender age of 34. Rebekah will be remembered for the love and compassion she always showed everyone she met. She was the very proud mother of two small boys, Ethan & John Everette, PLEASE pray for them as well as her high school sweetheart and husband of 13 yrs as well. He also lost his only sister to a brain tumor about two years ago. Only with the constant love from his family and the courage , strength, and faith from the good Lord above, will he manage. She also left behind 3 wonderful sisters (nieces and nephews who adored her) and her mother and father who I am sure are devastated. Please send up a prayer for the entire family. Tho Rebekah is gone from this life, her image will remain in our hearts forever.....One of a kind...

Microscopic Gleam

This will be a quick Post, cause I still have not made the Blog a priority, but, am thinking now is as good a time as any! One week from today, I will be attending a Women's Training Weekend and I truly hope it will change my life.

As I Blog, if you read it, you will get to know me or if the ultimate is achieved, I'll get to know me! That's right~ I am focusing on the Blog as a Self Help Tool at the moment..recording my thoughts and activities periodically, so I can look back AND forward and reflect AND progress. A Good way to talk it all out without the bored or hurried look on the face of a family member or friend.

What IS this World coming too??? I know I'm not very happy with what I see, hence, the name of my Blog, Microscopic Gleam.
Microscopic Gleam?, you say??
My Definition~ Straight from Katjack's Dictionary:
The tiniest ray of light, so small, one can barely see, but it's there off in the distance, just beyond reach, and the gleam is hope and truth..

without fear for any reason...

To be continued...
(I'll be adding pics to the madness soon)

I finally did it! The Blog is official! Welcome to Microscopic Gleam~